Alive
by Lrigelbbub
Summary: [TyKa] What makes Kai feel alive? rated for connotations
1. Not A Game

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Beyblade.  
  
A/N: This is a new fic. I once again had inspiration from a song.....I don't remember the name.........but it wasn't the lyrics that got me thinking.....it was the beat.  
  
This is dedicated to Chained Fire. Thanks for listening to me blab all the time mate^^ and for saying you'll beta Liar chapter2 – what's there anyways.^^ Muchly appreciated.  
  
~*~  
  
ALIVE  
  
His hips swayed.  
  
Left to right and back again.  
  
His head bopped in time to the beat. His almost raven hair fell loose; falling in seemingly soft curls around his already flushed face; cascading down his back. His storm eyes hazy with the heat and with something else entirely.  
  
His was an enigma. As I watched him move around the sweaty, bouncing bodies, it seemed as though the entire planet revolved around him. I knew for certain that my universe definitely had him at its centre. I just couldn't turn away.  
  
He knew everyone was watching him. He knew that I was watching him. My eyes narrowed and a scowl graced my features as I watched him turn in another's grasp. His arm's slowly rose up and circled around this other's neck. I wanted to but my hands around that same neck; but for an entirely different reason. I watched as he moulded his body against this other; their bodies moving slowly, ever so slowly, in time with the thump of the music.  
  
I wrenched my eyes away from him and finally managed to turn away from watching the dance floor; watching him and signalled the barkeep.  
  
"Bacardi 1-5-1," I ordered.  
  
The woman turned away from me with out word and brought me the shot. I handed over my money and downed the liquor. I resisted the urge to cringe as the alcohol burned its fierce trail down my throat. I turned back to watching him; my eyes finding him easily. Like I said before, he drew people to him. You just couldn't help yourself. It was hard to look away, and it was getting increasingly more difficult.  
  
I slowly moved towards him. My body reacted to the thump of the beat. I made my way to him and he grinned at me. Breaking away from his dancing partners he grabbed my hands and swung me around. I could hear his childish laughter over the deafening roar of the music. He pressed himself to me and I countered; wrapping my arms around his waist. Pulling him closer, impossibly close..........to me. I could feel myself responding, rather unwillingly, to his heat; to the feel of his sweat slicked skin rubbing against my own.........slippery sensitive, totally tantalising skin. He was flush against me, his hips against mine. Slowly grinding against me..........  
  
I gasped as I felt myself stir with life. I roughly pushed him away and after disentangling my limbs from his I rushed off the dance floor and out the door. Not bothering to get the stamp that granted me access should I come back in a few minutes. I knew that I wasn't coming back.  
  
Not tonight.  
  
Maybe not ever.  
  
Never have I felt so disgusted with myself. What had I done? I had rubbed myself, shamelessly against a boy younger than me. I almost laughed out loud at that......a boy. Ha! Takao was no longer a boy. I could feel that for myself tonight. I did not know if he was yet a man and frankly I didn't care. I had done something downright despicable. I just hoped that Takao could find it in his forgiving heart to acknowledge and accept my unspoken apology. I would not admit to doing something wrong, even though I knew it in my heart. To apologize was to regret and I am a firm believer of no regrets, no worries.  
  
But still I know that I am a great liar. I lie to myself all the time. Denial – yep that is it. He and I are very well acquainted. No regrets, no worries........who am I kidding........I'm plagued by both.  
  
Basically my life sucks.........  
  
I am in love with a man that I can't stand. Oh how he irritates me so. I believe he does it on purpose; there is no way that one being could be so annoying. His smiles irk me at night, when I'm in bed alone and all I can think of is him, sleeping in the bed across the way. And his eyes watch me in my dreams. That stormy hue haunts me. He smiles so often and yet I can tell that only very few reach his eyes. He loves to tease me. I know he tries to draw me out of myself but I reach this point, you know? It's a point that I am afraid to pass. Who am I kidding.....I am absolutely petrified of crossing that line. I don't know what will be on the other side. I mean, I know what I can see, but how am I too be sure that what I see is real. I'm in love with my best friend and I know for sure that he doesn't feel the same. Sure he plays around.....but that's just it. He is playing, mucking around. He loves to tease me.  
  
I think that he thinks that this is all one big game.  
  
Well this is life and it's real.  
  
Life is not a game.  
  
I slowly walked home. According to my approximations it took me about an hour, but I really wasn't counting the minutes. It was cold out. Even the smallest breeze felt like a gale as it rushed around me, cooling my heated skin. I was thankful in the way; it gave me a chance to settle down. To regain control and to suppress what ever it was that I was feeling. I slid my key into the latch and turned the handle simultaneously. I welcomed the rush of heat that greeted me at the door. I slipped of my shoes and shrugged out of my coat. I trudged down the silent hall and pushed my bedroom door open. Lost deep in thought I jumped about three feet high at the sound of my name.  
  
"Kai," the voice chimed; drawing my name out so it sounded as it was comprised of two syllables rather than only one.  
  
"Holy Mother of.........." I whipped around to put a name to the voice. I saw Takao leaning against the door. I heard the click shut and the snap of the key turning in the lock. I cocked an inquisitive eyebrow at the other boy. But he said nothing.  
  
"What do you want Takao? You scared the bejesus out of me."  
  
He giggled then and I scowled at me. "I'm so sorry Kai," he stepped away from the door and come closer. His walk was slow and took on a predatory feel. I felt my heart start to race. He stopped within arms length of me, "Can you ever forgive me?" he pleaded with me, a sly smirk marring his angelic features.  
  
I backed away and a gasp escaped me as I realised that he had me backed against the wall. "What is it that you want Takao?"  
  
"Why did you leave the club in such a rush Kai?" he asked suddenly serious.  
  
I felt my face flush, "I didn't feel like dancing anymore."  
  
"Are you sure, because I was under the distinct impression that you were having a wonderful time?"  
  
My spine stiffened as I caught the gist of his statement. He had realised......he had felt my..........I clenched my hands into fists and fought to remain calm, "I.........I......I mean like I said, I didn't feel like dancing anymore."  
  
I cheered momentarily on the inside as I watched his smirk fade.  
  
"No."  
  
"What?" I questioned.  
  
"No. I don't believe you Hiwatari."  
  
"What are you on about?"  
  
"I think that you did enjoy dancing with me. I know you did."  
  
My heart plummeted and finally came to rest in my feet. I gulped, "You........you're wrong," I stuttered.  
  
"Nah ah. I don't think so," he said in a sing song voice.  
  
I tried desperately to flatten myself against the wall. I have never wanted anything so much in whole entire my life as I wanted to disappear into the pastel coloured paint. He leaned closer and closer and my breath hitched in my throat. He pressed himself against me. His entire body was flush against mine. He trapped me between his arms, which he place one either side of my head. His hips began to sway, his body moving in time to a long ago rhythm. He ground himself against me. His hand started to slide down and he grasped at my hips and pulled me forward against him just as he pushed in turn against me.  
  
I could feel it, all of the telltale signs; heated skin, flushed face, rapidly beating heart, a loss of breathing control. A basic lost of control. I bit down on my lower lip in effort to suppress the moan that was welling in the base of my throat. I felt myself stir to life and I came to my sense.  
  
"No."  
  
"Wha......" came the unintelligible reply.  
  
"No, get off me," I pushed him to one side and propelled myself off the way. I stood in the centre of the room, my arms wrapped around me. I could feel myself shivering from need and desire and from something else entirely.  
  
He leaned against the wall, his eyes closed and his lips parted. He opened this eyes very slowly as I could see the lust there; it was bubbling just below the surface. I knew know that he wanted me. But does he crave for me as I do for him? Does he love me, as I love him?  
  
He smiled at me, but his grin widened and finally he laughed.  
  
At me.  
  
I don't think that I have ever been so angry in my entire life. "What's so funny?" I snapped.  
  
"You," he replied when he settled down.  
  
'Why is that?"  
  
"Geez Kai, I was just having a bit of fun. I was just playing with you."  
  
"I know!" I yelled at him then.  
  
His jaw opened and closed in shock.  
  
"I know ok. And that's.........that's the reason why I didn't want to dance anymore. I know that you are just playing around. I know that you are teasing me." I leapt at him then and pinned him under me against the wall. I slowly ground against him. I let him feel exactly what it was that he did to me.  
  
"Kai.......I........"  
  
"Do you think this is funny?" I bit out, "This is what you do to me ok?" I stared into his eyes and watched as the realisation dawned upon him. I let go of his wrists then and turned away. I waited for the inevitable confrontation but only silence greeted my ears. I turned around again. Takao was still in the same position I left him in.  
  
"Look Takao, I'm sorry that I put all this on you........." I trailed off. I just didn't know what to say to make this better.  
  
He turned his eyes on me and I think my eyes not only boggled but my jaw may have also hit the floor. I expected disgust, apprehension; a concoction of emotions, but in Takao's eyes all I could see was the same burning flame that was there a few minutes ago; the same lust that was burning brightly; for me.  
  
"This is not a game Takao."  
  
"I know," he whispered to me as he again stepped closer to me.  
  
"It wasn't the alcohol, the music or the atmosphere. I want you. Me. Just me. I've always wanted you. You truly have no idea what you do to me. How you make me feel."  
  
He against pressed himself against me, he breath ticked my throat and his lips pressed against my skin "How do I make you feel?" he whispered to me then.  
  
"Alive. Takao you make me feel alive."  
  
~*~  
  
A/N: just to clarify things: Takao obviously took a taxi home in order to be home before Kai. I mean he could have run home but that would take to much effort. Taxi's much easier........Max and Rei and Kenny.....they'd catch another Taxi home, whenever they want to leave. I don't think I mentioned that they were at the club as well – but they were.....anyways that's not important.  
  
Well that's it. I think that this will only be a Oneshot.....maybe a two parter if I get enough time and enough inspiration. My well is running dry I think^^;; As you can see from my ever inventive title -_-  
  
@ CF – I hope that you like it^^ and no rush on Liar. When ever you find time is aiight. I know you are busy. I can understand that^^  
  
be safe  
  
-BG 


	2. For Always

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Beyblade  
  
Dedication: To Chained Fire.  
  
ALIVE  
  
I wanted desperately to look away from him, but I couldn't turn away. It seemed hard before but right at this moment it was damn well impossible.  
  
"Alive. Takao, you make me feel alive," I waited with baited breath for his reaction.  
  
"I'll make you feel more than just that Kai. I promise you that much."  
  
I felt numb. My brain was on overload. I felt short of breath and I swear that my heart had stopped beating. Then the later half of his statement started to sink in and my joy took a sudden nosedive. What was it that he was promising me? A quick tumble in the hay and nothing more or was it something deeper than that?  
  
My apprehension must have shown on my face because Takao came up to me and softly trailed his fingertips up my naked arms. His touch was gentle; fuelling my desire for him.  
  
"Hush Kai..."  
  
I looked at him expectantly after he trailed off.  
  
He gazed up at me beneath lowered lashes and with a ghost of a smile gracing his lips, he stood on tip toe and whispered in my ear. My entire body shivered and I fought to stay standing.  
  
"I can not promise you forever..."  
  
My heart sank.  
  
"But I can give you all that I have right now. I can give you me..."  
  
He pulled back after those words and I just stood there like a stunned mullet; my jaw wide open; my eyes most probably boggled.  
  
He looked at me dead in the eye, "All of me," he stated firmly.  
  
My jaw snapped closed, "I...you – we.....I mean....huh?" I groaned on the inside, 'way smooth Hiwatari,' I berated myself.  
  
"Kai, I know that I haven't always been the kind of friend that you have needed. I know that I am brash and loud and well I'm sure that you can fill in the blanks with a few more colourful adjectives, but I have always been here, if you have ever needed to talk. I don't know if it's because I pushed you too much too early in our friendship but you never held me to that offer."  
  
There was a slightly pregnant pause before he started something else. I didn't answer. I didn't know what to say.  
  
"Kai I want you to understand that I am your friend first and foremost. Whatever else happens will not affect how much I care for you in a friendship capacity."  
  
I lowered my eyes from his and held my breath.  
  
"But that's not the only way that I care for you. I like you Kai. I always have. There is just something about you that draws me in. You caught me in your web a long long time ago but I don't think that you even realised it."  
  
I jerked up at that and his eyes found mine and held onto them.  
  
"You are not the only one affected when I am close to you. You make me tingle with energy and I can't help but feel alive. But most importantly, when I am near you Kai, you make me feel.  
  
If you let me I'll show you that feeling. I know that you wanted me tonight and I know that you want me for me. Well I want you to know that I too want you," he laughed at that, "I hope you understand want I meant by that," I nodded in response.  
  
"I like you Kai – a lot. But I won't say that I love you, not yet. Because I feel that there is just so much about you that I don't know. I feel that sometimes you hide yourself, your true self from me. I don't want you to feel that you have to do that anymore..." he trailed off but he did not break his gaze from mine.  
  
"So if you'll have me, I'll be yours, at least for a little while."  
  
"But not forever?" I winced as my voice cracked. I wanted to clarify my position but my question came out timid.  
  
"Maybe forever," he tilted his head, "I'm not sure. But I'd always be here for you. Give me time Kai. Show me that I can love you. Show me who you are. You know who I am," he challenged me.  
  
I smiled at him, "I think that I can do that," I affirmed, accepting his challenge.  
  
"Good, because I think it only far that if you get all of me that I should get all of you."  
  
I was going to reply to that but his wandering hand distracted me. I gasped as the back of his hand grazed the front of my jeans. I glanced at him and he cast me a wicked grin.  
  
I grasped at his hips and pulled him closer to me, much like I had earlier. Only this time I didn't bite back the moan that rose involuntarily, or the hiss that escaped from me when I felt him pressing back against me.  
  
I kissed him then; a gentle touch of my lips against his. I ran the tip of my tongue along his full bottom lip; pleading for access, which he granted to me.  
  
He kissed me back, rough and passionate all at once. Giving and taking; fuelling the fire that in our bellies that refused to be quelled  
  
I pulled back at placed random butterfly kissed along his jaw line, tasting his salty skin; relishing in the scent that was purely Takao.  
  
"You are mine," I said with vehemence.  
  
"Yes," he breathed, his eyes heavily lidded with lust and his voice husky with desire.  
  
"And I am yours."  
  
For always.  
  
A/N: this is probably the conclusion of this. If you think that I should continue it please tell me. I hope that you liked it.  
  
Be safe  
  
-BG 


End file.
